Spiders and stars, scrambled eggs and subwoofers

The days come and go these days. They blend together one after another and I lose count of where it began, and where it will end.

It feels like I’ve known you for years.

I’m experiencing things I haven’t felt in years: contentment, amazement, happiness.

Yet with such good comes such bad. Intensity, passion and safety leave space for loneliness, neglect and sorrow. We who climb highest fall hardest.

I’m tempted to use caution; to preserve myself in a half realised, half abandoned limbo so that any pain I may come to experience can be buffered by the detatchment.

But I don’t want that.

I’ve been made to smile a lot, laugh constantly, evaluate the preferences in my life and feel valued as someone truly worth adoration. These mean so much to me, and they are easy to do when you’re around.

Sometimes I do feel fear, anger, loneliness and confusion. Big emotions come easily to me, but aren’t dealt with easily by me. I’ve always struggled to be appropriate.

But I realise there is no fine-line over what is acceptable and what is not. It’s different with every lover.

I do not feel boundaried and expected to behave within certain parameters in order to please someone else over my piece of mind.

And I daresay the same for you.

How fortunate!

 

 

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