What would Gramps think

I often wonder what my grandfather is thinking. To me, when people die that we love, they are always there, even if just in my head and a product of my imagination and they are a bit all-seeing/all-knowing. Especially my grandfather.

It’s a good gage of how my life is going when I consider what he must be thinking of me. It’s like that old question – “if you were to die suddenly, would people be shocked at what they find in your belongings?”

Death is something that really breaks down the walls of denial, unless you’re really fucking  ill in the head.

I don’t think my grandfather would be very happy. The worst part is, I don’t think he would be angry with me. I think he’d be sad.  I have shit in my head that I don’t quite know what to do with. And I know he can see that, and that it hurts him.

But then, what the fuck would I know.

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