Metrofail. Again.


The trains during the World Cup have done anything but run on time. “The such and such a train from Simons Town to Cape Town has been cancelled, we apologise for the inconvenience” is a great line we hear blared over the loudspeakers in a barely distinguishable accent, almost daily. Fantastic, that just makes everything all better. Take a few weeks ago as an example. I had a doctor’s appointment after work at 6, and this is one of those doctors who you pay for if you don’t turn up. You’d think an hour would be sufficient for me to get from work to the doc, seeing as I work across the road from the station and the trip is 20 minutes. But no, thanks to Metrorail I didn’t get there on time. My train was cancelled. The next train, 15 minutes later, left late. Then the train broke down and stopped on the tracks for 10 minutes. I got there at about 6.20, having left work at 5. 

On Wednesday, the train I was on broke down and all the lights went out. Now, at 7 in the evening, this was such a lovely experience – being surrounded by a group of strangers in a dark train carriage. This was after my original train was cancelled, and the next train to leave was late coming in so we were late to leave. The estimated leaving time of the train kept moving 1 or 2 minutes forward. Now, the board with the train times and platforms had told us our train was leaving from platform 7. Then, Metrorail announced that it will be leaving from platform 3. You’d think someone could update that on the board seeing as its electrical. But wait, only one of the boards announcing the train times is actually working, the other is blank. This is happening during the World Cup people. 

The people on the trains are also pretty retarded. In the morning during rush hour, the trains get so full that you can’t get on them. But on closer inspection, you notice that there is lots of standing space further down the carriages, but people still choose to hover around the door, as if moving down the carriage is some threat to their personal safety. Common sense much? NO! Not any! When I board the train, I usually move further down the carriage so I don’t have to stand squelched next to someone who hasn’t discovered good hygiene, and also so people are able to get into the carriages. 

You should see people’s faces when I say ‘excuse me, can I get past please, there is so much space there.’ They look as if I have kicked them in the groin with a steel capped boot. The look of utter horror and shock as I push through to get to some space is unbelievable. I have seen people unable to board the trains because they are so full around the doors, but have standing room further down the carriage. It is as if people cannot put 2 and 2 together: crowded space next to un crowded space – move to un crowded space and crowded space becomes less crowded. 

Another joy of train rides is the token DJ, playing music from their phone to the whole carriage. Oh yeah, we all want to listen to Akon or other drivel like that after working a long, crappy day and getting rained on for 10 minutes before boarding the train, Thanks buddy, it’s all good now I have your cellphone music in my ears. It’s a real treat when you get not one, but two wanna be DJs on the train! What joy! And neither one wants to give up their music so we sit, listening to two shitty RnB/Hip Hop artists for 20 minutes, AT THE SAME TIME. 

Last but not least is chivalry. It seems to be pretty dead. I have seen elderly women standing on trains, while twenty-something, healthy men are sitting happily on the seats. I have seen pregnant women standing too. If I am lucky enough to get a seat and I see a pregnant woman or an elderly person – I give up my seat. It’s just good manners. This would be another time when people’s mouths drop open in shock. The other day I gave my seat to an elderly lady and after the (once again) horrified stares from people in the carriage I felt like shouting ‘well it seems I have more balls than all the men on this train so I thought I had better behave like man is supposed to, and offer her my seat.’ 

I really need to get my driver’s license, and get away from these morons. Metrorail morons and passenger morons.


3 Responses to “Metrofail. Again.”

  1. U-no-hoo Says:

    So glad to hear you grew up with good manners! And so sorry you have to continue putting money into the pockets of Metrofail, paying for A1 service and getting D3.

  2. Tara McGovern Says:

    lol you really do make me laugh

  3. People like standing near the doors. You know how sometimes the train only waits 15 seconds at a station you want to get off at?

    Also, young women these days are not impressed by chivalry. They assume it is their birth-right. Obviously, I would still give up my seat – In fact I’d rather stand because I’ve been sitting all day.

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