Polar Bear Hugger – New Breed of Retard

Whilst wearing my legs away on a bike at the gym yesterday, I happened to see a woman in a pit, swimming with polar bears on my bike’s little TV screen, courtesy of Sky News. “That’s not normal” I thought to myself, but couldn’t get the full story because I had no earphones with me. This morning I did a little investigating and it turns out that some insane Kraut decided to try and get friendly with a polar bear.


Apparently the woman climbed over a fence, a wall and ‘prickly hedges’ before practicing her best bomb technique into the enclosure pool. Swimming towards the nearest cuddly-bear with a smile plastered on her face (like someone who has slicked two caps of acid), the woman soon became play fodder for the creatures. After failed attempts by the zoo staff to get her out of the water, the polar bears pulled off her pants in a last stab attempt at launching her world humiliation to new highs.

She was eventually pulled out and sent to hospital where she is recuperating and facing criminal charges. No one knows yet why she pulled the stunt, but mental instability is propbably something to do with it. Or a bet for a million Deutsche Mark.

I’m a big fan of self destruction, but not when it becomes a world wide embarrassment. I had to join in on the 6 billion people world wide, uttering in joint fashion “you utter dimwit” and seeing as a polar bear was involved, my lol was created.

Feel free to vote for it on Icanhascheezburger – the source of much happiness in my life.

Mebbeh French meat bettr?

Mebbeh French meat bettr?

Read the full story here.

And check out the picture gallery here.


4 Responses to “Polar Bear Hugger – New Breed of Retard”

  1. wow. you’ve really stooped to a new level of low.
    what does being retarded have to do with this story?
    the fact is always people without cognitive impairment
    that do these incredibly stupid things. why pick on people
    with mental retardation (yes, that’s what you’re doing)
    that makes you a bully in my eyes.

  2. starstripe Says:

    Totally man!
    To lob yourself into a pit of polar bears with a nutcase grin on your face is pretty damn stupid. And I’m not picking on people with mental retardation – I am picking on people who have no common sense and do something as dim witted as lob themselves into a zoo enclosure. I am picking on people who pull a stunt like that and guess what – if she had died, what would have happened – the polar bears would have been blamed. That makes me very angry.

  3. Vikki Greenway Says:

    Er Germany joined the Euro zone many moons ago – That means they don’t have the Deutsche Mark any more!!!!

    And who is this Mary bird – is she for real?? Someone who chooses to chuck themselves in with what are essentially wild animals must have some type of screw loose. Has Mary ever been to a zoo – it is not like you can just stroll into an enclosure and not realise that you are there? There are plenty of fences and warning signs – well at least in Europe. No sane person, when being aware of the consiquences would actually choose to ignore all the warnings, hence the reasonable sumise that this lady has some type of mental problem.

    As you say, had she died, it would ahve been the bears that suffered. Anyway, I believe that she is now getting the help she needs – and the polar bears missed a nice lunch!!!

  4. starstripe Says:

    She is for real. But not in her head though 🙂

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